Hmmm loose-windscreen-welcome

c: | m: | f: What / Who

If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m desperate, massively overweight, have been pre-approved for a mortgage on a villa in Spain, may never walk again if I don't forward this to 25 people in the next 9 seconds, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, cheap medication, online dating, and Viagra … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit unorthodox. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?

At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps an homage to the fuel efficiency of the Humvee. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could shoot the messenger.

In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a coked-up junkie if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could get recented up on:

Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it.Plugsmd_article_stats Ludicrously simple client side article body/excerpt word count plugin for Textpattern, with an admin-side panel as well. There’s not much else to say about it so I’ll use… PostWhy you should never use your fingerprint to unlock your phone Unlocking your phone with a passphrase, password or pattern takes time. Using your thumbprint is virtually instantaneous, and it’s guaranteed to belong to you, right? Wrong.

You might also enjoy the blog post entitled All my friends are virtual, but there’s always the possibility you think it missed the target. For those who crave even more interactivitude you can find me on Google+, Facebook or you can join the socialites awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.

If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your porn collection and laugh.

1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three parsecs (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.